Zitiert von Aurorin2:

"2010 will be my year" I enthusiastically declared about 3 months ago. I am determined not to let my life get in the way of my living it this year.

Once I knew I had been promoted and that my job was secure, I had to accept the sad truth: I have a guarantee of a job for the rest of my life. No, that's not the sad truth. The sad truth is that this job is in Indiana (no disrespect intended, Hoosiers). I have never felt I belonged any place I have lived. This is the 6th state that I have lived in, the 3rd since leaving college, and every place I treated as my temporary place of residence. I never expected to stay anywhere for long. I was perpetually just passing through. I had never lived anywhere more than 5 years since moving out of my parents' home in 1986. The announcement of my promotion, which of course means additional responsibilities and higher expectations from my bosses, also has implications on my residential status. The significance of this fact is that it seems now I have put upon myself pressure to do something about my failing social life. I won't pretend not to know why I am, as I refer to myself, "an unsuccessful heterosexual". It's my fault mostly. I chose this life. A death sentence for the single, educated, heterosexual, professional woman that wants to get married. In my career, I was warned that I could have a good social life or a good job, but not both. So, I took the latter, because I figured that I would need to be financially secure. And, in theory, I could travel to bigger cities to look for men with whom there might be some mutual attraction. If I had chosen the former, I may have ended up in a nice city with plenty of opportunities to date, but no money to do anything. I made that decision, but I never gave up on the hunt. Every single man was considered prey until he revealed something about himself that I realized would make us incompatible or I would say to myself, "He's a keeper! He'd make a great friend!" Now, I have many male "friends". No, there's no chance of a fairy tale ending. It won't be like kissing a frog to try to convert any of them to become my Prince Charming. These men are playing for the other team. With a kiss from me, they'd just turn into frogs with a better sense of style.

So, now that I can work without as much pressure as before, I can put energy into the proverbial search for men for whom I would be the right fit and who would meet my standards. The first step, I believe, is admitting that I have no clue how to date anymore. I never really dated. My dating experience was limited to my extended stints in other countries where I was fond of the local men and they were quite smitten with me as well. I never expected anything long-term with them; we were just, you know, having fun. (Good memories.) But here, in the States, I was always a serial monogamist before now, before I fell head-first into my career. I would get into committed relationships and expect that journey to end with marriage. I am not even certain I can learn how to date. It requires a certain amount of acceptance of the unknown; I'd have to take a leap of faith that whatever happens I will land on my feet, or if I don't, that I will get up again. My career requires no risks. There are periods of high stress that go on for years and then, there's a lull, like now for me, when you are newly promoted. This won't last long, so it's the perfect time to begin this challenge.

I have been a member of several online dating sites before with not much success. Of course, "success" is a relative term. However defined, I have met more men through eHarmony than I had on my own living in the Hoosier state. However, I was a member of e Harmony for many years and had limited interactions with men that I would say were compatible with me. Besides, it was hard dealing with that site when it wasn't really intended to bring people who enjoy the company of other people of different ethnicities and cultures together. It wouldn't allow me to be selective in my preferences if it meant excluding men of my own ethnic group. It was dictating to me who would most likely be chosen by their system to be a "match" for me. At this stage in my life, I know what I want and I shouldn't have to be coy about expressing what I want. That's why I am going to start my search within this community of like-minded people.

I am declaring this year to be the year that I begin looking earnestly for someone. In 2011, I will be leaving for Madrid. It would be nice to use May 2011 as a target date. I am a serial monogamist. I would much rather learn to date now and find myself in a committed relationship by then and perhaps want to re-think my assignment in Madrid than to learn to date again there in Madrid, on the very same continent where I learned to date in the first place.

I wouldn't want to come back an unrepentant cougar. Or would I?

"2010 will be my year" I enthusiastically declared about 3 months ago. I am determined not to let my life get in the way of my living it this year.

Once I knew I had been promoted and that my job was secure, I had to accept the sad truth: I have a guarantee of a job for the rest of my life. No, that's not the sad truth. The sad truth is that this job is in Indiana (no disrespect intended, Hoosiers). I have never felt I belonged any place I have lived. This is the 6th state that I have lived in, the 3rd since leaving college, and every place I treated as my temporary place of residence. I never expected to stay anywhere for long. I was perpetually just passing through. I had never lived anywhere more than 5 years since moving out of my parents' home in 1986. The announcement of my promotion, which of course means additional responsibilities and higher expectations from my bosses, also has implications on my residential status. The significance of this fact is that it seems now I have put upon myself pressure to do something about my failing social life. I won't pretend not to know why I am, as I refer to myself, "an unsuccessful heterosexual". It's my fault mostly. I chose this life. A death sentence for the single, educated, heterosexual, professional woman that wants to get married. In my career, I was warned that I could have a good social life or a good job, but not both. So, I took the latter, because I figured that I would need to be financially secure. And, in theory, I could travel to bigger cities to look for men with whom there might be some mutual attraction. If I had chosen the former, I may have ended up in a nice city with plenty of opportunities to date, but no money to do anything. I made that decision, but I never gave up on the hunt. Every single man was considered prey until he revealed something about himself that I realized would make us incompatible or I would say to myself, "He's a keeper! He'd make a great friend!" Now, I have many male "friends". No, there's no chance of a fairy tale ending. It won't be like kissing a frog to try to convert any of them to become my Prince Charming. These men are playing for the other team. With a kiss from me, they'd just turn into frogs with a better sense of style.

So, now that I can work without as much pressure as before, I can put energy into the proverbial search for men for whom I would be the right fit and who would meet my standards. The first step, I believe, is admitting that I have no clue how to date anymore. I never really dated. My dating experience was limited to my extended stints in other countries where I was fond of the local men and they were quite smitten with me as well. I never expected anything long-term with them; we were just, you know, having fun. (Good memories.) But here, in the States, I was always a serial monogamist before now, before I fell head-first into my career. I would get into committed relationships and expect that journey to end with marriage. I am not even certain I can learn how to date. It requires a certain amount of acceptance of the unknown; I'd have to take a leap of faith that whatever happens I will land on my feet, or if I don't, that I will get up again. My career requires no risks. There are periods of high stress that go on for years and then, there's a lull, like now for me, when you are newly promoted. This won't last long, so it's the perfect time to begin this challenge.

I have been a member of several online dating sites before with not much success. Of course, "success" is a relative term. However defined, I have met more men through eHarmony than I had on my own living in the Hoosier state. However, I was a member of e Harmony for many years and had limited interactions with men that I would say were compatible with me. Besides, it was hard dealing with that site when it wasn't really intended to bring people who enjoy the company of other people of different ethnicities and cultures together. It wouldn't allow me to be selective in my preferences if it meant excluding men of my own ethnic group. It was dictating to me who would most likely be chosen by their system to be a "match" for me. At this stage in my life, I know what I want and I shouldn't have to be coy about expressing what I want. That's why I am going to start my search within this community of like-minded people.

I am declaring this year to be the year that I begin looking earnestly for someone. In 2011, I will be leaving for Madrid. It would be nice to use May 2011 as a target date. I am a serial monogamist. I would much rather learn to date now and find myself in a committed relationship by then and perhaps want to re-think my assignment in Madrid than to learn to date again there in Madrid, on the very same continent where I learned to date in the first place.

I wouldn't want to come back an unrepentant cougar. Or would I?